Platform One, 9.20am

I am joined on the platform by three girls, three pushchairs, each containing a baby, two children, two blokes and an inordinate amount of gold jewellery. One of the blokes is swigging from a can of lager and smoking a spliff.

As the train approaches the can is thrust onto the track. "Davo!" one of the girls chastises. "Wot?" Davo replies, "I'm keeping someone in a job," he states proudly, apparently without even a trace of irony.

As we stand together amongst the bikes and pushchairs, swaying with the gentle side to side movement of the train, Davo's mate says, "Bit like being drunk, innit?" Davo looks wistfully out of the window and muses, "I don't know what it feels like to be sober."