Work Conversations

Jay is siiting in my chair with his feet on the desk, talking loudly into a phone. I sit at his desk and nod hello to Andy. He nods back and rolls his eyes, tilting his head in Jay's direction. Jay continues his loud conversation.

"Yeah, so when I'm down we'll go and get wasted, get loads of drugs and women and go gambling." He's joking. I know he's joking because he always does it. I know that the twenty minutes of conversation that preceeded my entrance into the office would have been very serious business talk, involving Jay fretting about some client or other. Andy rolls his eyes at me again.

"Just check your emails or whatever for now mate," he says. "No problem," I tell him, "I'll just wait for David Brent over there to finish up.

Jay finishes his conversation with a stream of increasingly unlikely fictional scenarios that he and his friend will get into, regaled loudly to make sure Andy and I can hear him.

"Tim was just telling me him and his girlfriend were in Egypt and his missus bit into a date and there was a maggot inside it. That's fucking disgusting. Have you ever bitten into food and found an animal inside?" Jay asks Andy.

"No," Andy replies, " But I have been eating an animal and found food inside." He glances over to me with a smirk.

"Really?" Jay replies.

"Yeah, I found this dog at the side of the road and started eating it and inside I found a load of pork chops. It was great." I struggle to hold in my laughter. Jay looks at Andy in horror. "Really?" he asks again, genuinely horrified. Andy rolls his eyes at me and shakes his head slowly.